Kurdt spoke for everyone since he is the supreme dictator of the group and all the members live 60 miles away from everyone else.

MLL: How long have you been around as Nirvana?
K: One long, hard, drawn out, excruciating excruciating year.
HAR HAR HAR HA HA HA HA HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAW.
MLL: I heard you were called Brown Cow or something before that.
K: No. That was Buzz, Dale and I performing some of Buzz's Minutemen styled tunes. That was about two and a half years ago at the GESSCO in Olympia. I had a splendid time.
MLL: What other bands have members been in?
K: Chris and I have been in TOO MANY various forms of Nirvana for the past four years under such names as Skid Row, Ying Yang Valvestem, Pen Cap Chew, Bliss, Ted Ed and Fred, and other unmentionables. Chad and Jason were both in a speed-metal band called Stone Crow.
MLL: Do you ever wear funny hats or head bands like Lines n' Noses or Mother Love Bone?
K: Well, there's Minnie Pearl plastic fruit hats, crochet granny-square-flair legged jumpsuits. Stuff like that. Well, not really, but there's this 60's band called Thunder and Roses who do a better rip off of Cream than Goons and Posers do of Aerosmith.
MLL: Where did you find your platform shoes?
K: At an Aberdeen pawnshop which is run by sweaty-incest-rednecks. They specialize in tools. The name of the store is DILLS SECOND HAND.
MLL: What's your favorite thing about Aberdeen?
K: Knowing that I don't live there anymore.
MLL: How are people responding at your shows?
K: Well, the chicken wire barricade dampens the impact of all the flying beer bottles.
MLL: What does the future have in store for you?
K: Uh...I dunno.
MLL: How come you didn't name yourselves something like "Malicious Grind"?
K: For a long time we couldn't decide between these names: Sabre, Huff Toyz, Black Rose, Leather Rose, Black Ice, or Hard Touch. We needed something that would compliment our Saun Shawn Cassidy Helmut helmet haircuts. You know, the kind that exposes the ears yet is rebelliously long in the back. We needed something rough that would still let the babes know that we are eager to please.
MLL: Any amusing band anecdotes?
K: We earn our extra income by creating dazzleing dazzeling dazzling art and craft wall hangings, such as pieces of driftwood and seashells glued onto burlap sacks. Chad is especially talented at drawing vivid wildlife scenes on large pieces of rainforest fungi. We then set up shop at Tacoma's swap meet on Sundays to trade our works for rare turquoise jewelry, which we sell for a sizeable profit.
MLL: What record inspired you the most?
K: Ford Motor Company presents: Winnebago; the climax of life. 1971.
Chris: The Brady Bunch album. 1970.
Chad: John Davidson, "Touch Me". CBS Records, 1973.
Jason: Skin Diver, "No Harm Intended". Vogel records, 1983.
MLL: What did you get for Christinas?
Chad: @ 2 potatoes, 12 Oz of bleach, 1 tbs. of salt, galvanized copper alligator clips, 1 small motor and instructions on how to make a potato battery.
Chris: One chap stick carved into a little penis.
Kurdt: 4x8 feet of wood paneling and a turtle neck sweater.
Jason: A coupon for free hair extensions and cable TV.
MLL: What stuff have you been listening to lately?
Kurdt: Not a goddamned thing! Everything sucks. There's too many people on this planet, and way too many bands. Leadbelly, Pixies, NWA, Gyuto monks from Tibet.
Chris: Bomb, Soundgarden.
Chad: Tuxedo Moon.
Jason: NWA and nothin but.
MLL: Did you ever want to be an X-hand band?
K: Don't worry, we'll get around to it.